THANK YOU FOR YOUR WONDERFUL PRAYERS ON MY BEHALF. GOD LISTENS & CARES & INTERVENES WHEN WE CALL ON HIM. HE'S THERE THROUGH THE GOOD & THE BAD & DOESN'T LEAVE US HELPLESSLY FLOUNDERING. PRAYER REALLY DOES MAKE A DIFFERENCE!
I HAD SEVERAL DOCTOR APPOINTMENTS TODAY AND GOT SOME WONDERFUL NEWS: THE REPEAT MRI I HAD DONE LAST WEEK TO CHECK TUMOR SHRINKAGE AFTER CHEMO WAS COMPLETELY CLEAR. TO QUOTE THE REPORT:"THERE HAS BEEN TOTAL RESOLUTION OF THE PREVIOUS LARGE LESION". I WENT FROM A LARGE RAPIDLY GROWING TUMOR IN FEBRUARY (6 1/2 CENTIMETERS OR 2 TO 3 INCHES WIDE) TO NO TUMOR AT ALL IN SEPTEMBER. AS A RESULT OF THIS, MY UPCOMING SURGERY WAS DOWNGRADED FROM A MASTECTOMY OR REMOVAL OF THE WHOLE BREAST TO A MUCH SHORTER & SIMPLER LUMPECTOMY OR REMOVAL OF LESS THAN A GOLF BALL SIZED AMOUNT OF TISSUE WHERE THE TUMOR USED TO BE. THIS MEANS I WON'T NEED RECONSTRUCTION OR MULTIPLE MAJOR SURGERIES, WON'T NEED THE OTHER SIDE TO BE DECREASED IN SIZE TO EVEN THINGS OUT, WON'T NEED A SILICONE BREAST IMPLANT TO FILL UP THE EMPTY SPACE ON THE BREAST THAT HAD THE TUMOR, WON'T NEED LARGE SKIN GRAFTS FROM OTHER AREAS ON MY BODY TO REBUILD A REMOVED BREAST, WON'T HAVE GIANT SCARS (JUST 2 SMALL ONES), WON'T NEED ANY DRAINS POST OP, WON'T HAVE TO STAY IN THE HOSPITAL & CAN GO HOME THE SAME DAY, WON'T HAVE A LONG SURGERY OR RECOVERY TIME, & WON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT RADIATION MESSING UP THE PLASTIC SURGEONS RECONSTRUCTION WORK.
I WILL BE REQUIRED TO GO THROUGH 6 WEEKS OF DAILY RADIATION, THOUGH, TO KILL ANY POSSIBLE STRAY CANCER CELLS THAT MAY BE LEFT BEHIND, BUT THAT SEEMS LIKE A SMALL PRICE TO PAY. I MADE IT THROUGH 6 MONTHS OF CHEMO AND ALL ITS UNLOVELY SIDE EFFECTS, & I'LL MAKE IT THROUGH RADIATION TOO WITH GOD'S CONTINUING HELP & MERCY. I'VE BEEN DOING A LITTLE HAPPY DANCE EVER SINCE I FOUND OUT THIS AFTERNOON & SO HAS EVERYONE ELSE I'VE TOLD. PTL-PTL-PTL-PTL-PTL-PTL-PTL- PRAISE THE LORD-PRAISE THE LORD-PRAISE THE LORD!!! I AM SO DEEPLY GRATEFUL. MY SURGERY DATE IS OCTOBER 27th. THEY SET ASIDE 4 OR 5 HOURS TO DO THE MASTECTOMY & TO BEGIN THE RECONSTRUCTION PROCESS. BUT BECAUSE EVERYTHING IS NOW SHORTER & SIMPLER & DOESN'T REQUIRE COORDINATING THE BREAST SURGEON & THE PLASTIC SURGEON, THEY MAY RESCHEDULE IT TO A SOONER DATE. I'M HOPING TO BE DONE WITH RADIATION BY CHRISMAS SO WE CAN VISIT WITH THE KIDS & GRANDKIDS THAT RECENTLY MOVED TO TEXAS. I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE THEM.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Monday, September 26, 2011
OPTIONS
-WEDNESDAY SEPTEMBER 14, 2011:
WE SAW THE PLASTIC SURGEON FOR THE FIRST TIME TODAY. HE COMES HIGHLY RECOMMENDED BY SEVERAL OTHER DOCTORS I KNOW. HE WILL BE HANDLING THE RECONSTRUCTION PROCESS THAT BEGINS THE DAY OF SURGERY WHEN I HAVE A LUMPECTOMY OR MASTECTOMY, DEPENDING ON THE OUTCOME OF MY MRI. MY BREAST SURGEON, DR HADCOCK, WILL REMOVE WHAT NEEDS TO BE REMOVED & MY PLASTIC SURGEON, DR ASKREN, WILL STEP IN IMMEDIATELY AFTER, TO START THE RECONSTRUCTION OR REBUILDING & EVENING OUT PROCESS. HE SPENT A GREAT DEAL OF TIME WITH US (OVER AN HOUR & A HALF) & EXPLAINED THE MANY DIFFERENT OPTIONS AVAILABLE & GAVE ME A BOOK TO READ BEFORE MY NEXT VISIT. THEY ALSO TOOK 'BEFORE' PICTURES FOR MY FILE, WHICH I HAD BEEN DREADING, BUT IT WAS HANDLED BY A FEMALE MEMBER OF HIS STAFF, DIDN'T TAKE LONG, & WASN'T AS BAD AS I HAD IMAGINED. THE RECONSTRUCTION PROCESS IS A PROCESS. IT REQUIRES A BIT OF TIME AND PROBABLY SEVERAL DIFFERENT SURGERIES TO COMPLETE. WE HAD A GOOD VISIT WITH THE PLASTIC SURGEON, BUT WALKED AWAY MORE CONFUSED THAN BEFORE. THERE WERE SO MANY OPTIONS & IT'S HARD TO DEAL WITH SOMETHING YOU DON'T WANT TO FACE BUT HAVE TO. WITH MASTECTOMY OR REMOVAL OF THE WHOLE BREAST, THERE'S A SMALL CHANCE RADIATION MAY BE SKIPPED IF IT HASN'T SPREAD ANYWHERE ELSE & IS NOT IN YOUR LYMPH NODE SYSTEM. WITH LUMPECTOMY OR REMOVING JUST THE TUMOR AREA & SOME OF THE SURROUNDING TISSUE AROUND IT, IT'S SLIGHTLY LESS INVASIVE, BUT REQUIRES RADIATION TO MAKE SURE THEY HAVE KILLED ALL OF THE CANCER CELLS, IN CASE ANY ARE MISSED IN SURGERY. IT'S FOLLOWED BY RADIATION WHICH REQUIRES DAILY TREATMENT FOR 40+ DAYS AIMED AT A SPECIFIC MARKED SPOT EACH TIME. IT USUALLY BURNS THE SKIN & CHANGES THE TEXTURE OF THE UNDERLYING TISSUE HINDERING RECOVERY & REPAIR. WE LEARNED FROM THE PLASTIC SURGEON THAT THE BOTTOM LINE IS THAT RADIATION MESSES UP ANYTHING THAT HE DOES & THE OUTCOMES ARE USUALLY NOT AS GOOD. THAT KIND OF LEFT ME IN A QUANDRY NOT KNOWING WHAT THEY WILL DO OR WHAT I SHOULD DO. YOU KNOW, SO MANY CHOICES, SO LITTLE TIME.
-THURSDAY SEPTEMBER 15, 2011:
I REMAINED IN A STATE OF TURMOIL, NOT KNOWING WHICH WAY TO TURN OR WHICH SURGERY I WAS GOING TO HAVE, AND KNOWING THE DOCTORS WEREN'T ALL ON THE SAME PAGE & HADN'T DECIDED MY EXACT OPTIONS EITHER. I WENT TO LADIES BIBLE STUDY STILL UNSETTLED & UPSET, AND WONDER OF ALL WONDERS, GOD MINISTERED TO MY HEART. HE MADE ME REALIZE, THAT ALTHOUGH MY FINAL OUTCOME WITH CANCER & SURGERY & RADIATION IS UNKNOWN TO ME, & POSSIBLY UNDECIDED YET BY MY DOCTORS, GOD KNOWS THE OUTCOME. HE KNOWS WHAT I NEED, HE KNOWS WHAT I CAN HANDLE, AND HE LOVES ME & HAS MY BEST INTEREST IN MIND. HE WILL DIRECT THE DECISIONS THAT WILL BE MADE FOR MY CARE WHETHER THAT MEANS FOLLOWING THE NORMAL COURSE OF TREATMENT OR HAVING EXCEPTIONS MADE THAT I SPECIFICALLY NEED. I TRUST HIM & HE LOVES ME. I WILL NOT BE AFRAID & CONFUSED. SOMEONE I TRUST IS IN CONTROL. WHAT A GREAT PLACE TO BE! I'M IN GOD'S HANDS & DON'T HAVE TO BEAR THE WEIGHT OF ALL OF THIS MYSELF. THANKS LORD! I KNOW YOUR SHOULDERS ARE A LOT BIGGER THAN MINE & YOU CAN HANDLE THIS & A LOT MORE.
BESIDES GIVING ME PEACE ABOUT MY UPCOMING TREATMENT, TODAY IS A SPECIAL DAY FOR ANOTHER REASON. IT'S MY GRANDSON CALEB'S 10th BIRTHDAY. I WISH I COULD BE THERE TO GREET HIM IN PERSON & GIVE HIM A BIG OLE HUG. MY DAUGHTER & SON-IN-LAW TOOK THE KIDS INTO TOWN FOR A BIRTHDAY ICE CREAM TREAT & TO CALL GRANDPARENTS TO SAY THANK YOU FOR CARDS & PRESENTS. CALEB WOKE UP FEELING SICK & DIDN'T HAVE THE ENERGY TO DO A LOT. HE WAS ALSO FEELING A LITTLE SAD & DIDN'T WANT A BIRTHDAY PARTY BECAUSE HE WAS MISSING HIS FRIENDS BACK IN CALIFORNIA THAT HE USUALLY CELEBRATED WITH. HE WAS FASCINATED BY THE ROBOT CARD I MADE FOR HIM BECAUSE HE HAS HELPED ME MAKE A LOT OF THINGS WITH MY CRICUT MACHINE WHEN THEY WERE HERE, SO HE UNDERSTANDS HOW MUCH IS INVOLVED IN CHOOSING COLORS, CUTTING & GLUING A LOT OF TINY PIECES TOGETHER, & CREATING AN INDIVIDUALYIZED CARD OR GIFT MORE THAN MOST PEOPLE. MY DAUGHTER STOOD THERE WITH THE CAMERA READY TO CAPTURE HIS REACTION WHEN HE OPENED HIS PRESENTS/CARDS, BUT HE JUST KEPT STARING AT MY CARD FOR THE LONGEST TIME. HE GOT REAL EXCITED WHEN HE FINALLY REALIZED HE COULD NOW AFFORD THE LEGO MIND STORM KIT HE'S BEEN SAVING FOR 2 YEARS FOR WHICH WILL ALLOW HIM TO BUILD & PROGRAM HIS OWN LITTLE ROBOT. DID I MENTION HE IS ONE SMART & TALENTED COOKIE? THEY WENT TO TOYS R US TO GET THE MIND STORM KIT THAT THEY HAD SEEN THERE THE WEEK BEFORE, BUT FOUND IT WAS SOLD OUT. HE WAS A LITTLE DISAPPOINTED BUT KEPT A GOOD ATTITUDE. THEY ENDED UP ORDERING IT ON LINE WHICH SAVED THEM $30 PLUS NO SHIPPING & NO TAX. THAT IS BETTER IN THE LONG RUN ANYWAY. HAPPY BIRTHDAY CALEB. I LOVE YOU!
MONDAY SEPTEMBER 19th, 2011:
WE WENT TO THE ONCOLOGISTS OFFICE TODAY, NOT TO SEE THE ONCOLOGIST FOR A CHANGE, BUT TO SEE A THERAPIST TO WORK ON MY LEFT ARM TO TRY & REPAIR SOME DAMAGE TO MY VEINS FROM THE CHEMO. I HAVE A BROWN STRIPE & TWO INDENTATION LINES FOLLOWING THE COURSE OF A COUPLE OF VEINS UP MY ARM THAT I'M TOLD IS SCAR TISSUE IN THE VEINS. SHE MASSAGED THE AREA IN A SPECIFIC MANNER TO TRY & BREAK UP THE SCAR TISSUE & STRETCH THE VEINS. I'VE HAD THESE INJURIES FOR 2 OR 3 MONTHS, BUT DIDN'T GET REFERRED FOR TREATMENT UNTIL NEAR THE END OF CHEMO. I DIDN'T KNOW ANY OF THE CHEMO SIDE EFFECTS WERE REVERSIBLE. NICE TO KNOW. SHE SHOWED ARTIE A LITTLE BIT OF HOW TO DO THE MASSAGE AT HOME ON A DAILY BASIS & MADE ANOTHER APPOINTMENT TO SEE US IN A COUPLE OF WEEKS.
-TUESDAY SEPTEMBER 20th, 2011:
WELL, TODAY WAS THE INFAMOUS "REPEAT MRI DAY" TO CHECK FOR TUMOR SHRINKAGE SINCE COMPLETING CHEMO. IT WILL PROBABLY DETERMINE HOW THEY WILL APPROACH MY SURGERY IN OCTOBER. THE 1st MRI WAS DONE BACK IN FEBRUARY, BEFORE I STARTED CHEMO & THE NOISE IT MADE WHILE I WAS INSIDE IT THEN WAS BONE JARRING & UNSETTLING. I WASN'T REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO REPEATING THIS. LAST TIME IT SEEMED LIKE THERE WERE 5 GUYS IN THERE WITH ME WITH THEIR JACK HAMMERS GOING FULL BLAST. IT ALSO SEEMED LIKE EACH OF THEM HAD A PET WOODPECKER WITH THEM, PECKING AWAY & MAKING AS MUCH RACKET AS THEY COULD POSSIBLY MAKE. I WAS PLEASANTLY SURPRISED TO FIND THAT THIS TIME WAS NOT AS BAD AS THE FIRST. THE 1st 5 MINUTES SOUNDED LIKE THE EMERGENCY BROADCASTING TONE YOU HEAR ON THE RADIO OR TV TO GET YOUR ATTENTION & WARN YOU OF POTENTIAL DISASTERS. THE SECOND 5 MINUTES SOUNDED LIKE SOMEONE HIT THE SELF DESTRUCT BUTTON IN A TV SHOW AND THE CONSTANT LOUD GONG WAS GOING OFF SO YOU COULD CLEAR OUT OF THE LAB (OR MRI ROOM) FAST BEFORE IT BLEW UP. THE 3rd 5 MINUTES SOUNDED LIKE A HIGH FREQUENCY MARTIAN DEATH RAY WAS AIMED AT EARTH AND WAS WREAKING HAVOC & DESTRUCTION. DID I MENTION THAT I HAVE A GOOD IMAGINATION? THE LAST 5 MINUTES WAS LIKE A COMBINATION OF ALL 3 PREVIOUS SOUNDS AT THE SAME TIME. IT WAS LOUD & IT WAS DEAFENING, BUT THEY TOLD ME THERE WAS ONLY 5 MINUTES LEFT SO I WAS OK WITH THAT. I COULDN'T EAT FOR 4 HOURS OR USE ANY DEODORANT, POWDER, OR CREAMS LIKE BEFORE, BUT I ARMED MYSELF WITH A GOOD PAIR OF EAR PLUGS IN ADDITION TO THE MUSIC HEAD PHONES THEY USUALLY OFFER. BETWEEN THE TWO, IT HELPED DECREASE THE NOISE LEVEL ENOUGH THAT IT WAS MUCH EASIER TO HANDLE. ALSO GOING THROUGH THIS TEST BEFORE & KNOWING WHAT TO EXPECT, & KNOWING I ONLY HAD TO HANDLE IT FOR 20 MINUTES HELPED ME TOO. THEY ASKED ME BOTH TIMES WHAT MUSIC STATION I PREFER, BUT DIDN'T TURN IT TO THAT STATION EITHER TIME. THE 1st TIME IT WAS TURNED TO A WHINEY COUNTRY MUSIC STATION THAT I DON'T LIKE AND WHICH ADDED TO THE IRRITATION FACTOR, AND THIS TIME IT WAS TURNED TO AN OLDIES STATION THAT WASN'T TOO BAD. IT PROBABLY DOESN'T MATTER WHAT STATION THEY ACTUALLY TURN IT TO IN THE LONG RUN AS THE MRI NOISE IS SO LOUD THAT IT DROWNS OUT THE MUSIC ANYWAY. AT LEAST WITH THE ADDITION OF THE EAR PLUGS THIS TIME, IT DIDN'T RATTLE ME AS BADLY AS BEFORE. I GUESS MARTIAN DEATH RAYS ARE NOT AS DISTURBING AS A ROOM FULL OF JACK HAMMERS. I'M VERY THANKFUL FOR LITTLE BLESSINGS. I'LL FIND OUT THE RESULTS ON THE 27th WHEN I SEE THE BREAST SURGEON, DR MARGARET HADCOCK, AS WELL AS, RECEIVING MY SURGERY DATE & TYPE OF SURGERY THEY'VE DECIDED ON. BIG CHANGES AHEAD. GOOD THING I SERVE A BIG GOD! I SAW THE CHIROPRACTOR AFTER THE MRI FOR MY WEEKLY ADJUSTMENT. IT REALLY HELPS. AFTER DISCUSSING WHAT'S BEEN GOING ON WITH THE MRI & PLASTIC SURGEON, HE ASKED ME TO CONSIDER WHAT WAS MORE IMPORTANT TO ME AFTER SURGERY. 1) HOW I LOOKED AT HOME IN THE MIRROR, OR 2) HOW I LOOKED OUT IN PUBLIC. HE SUGGESTED I CONSIDER SKIPPING RECONSTRUCTION & WEAR A CUSTOM MADE PROSTHESIS SEWN INTO MY BRAS & MADE TO MATCH THE OTHER SIDE IF MY PUBLIC APPEARANCE WAS MORE IMPORTANT THAN MY PRIVATE APPEARANCE. MORE OPTIONS TO CONSIDER.
-SUNDAY SEPTEMBER 25th, 2011:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY NEPHEW MATT NORDIN WHO TURNS 27 TODAY. I MADE A CARD BUT DIDN'T GET IT OFF IN THE MAIL YET. OOPS. BETTER LATE THAN NEVER. LOVE YOU MATT.
-MONDAY SEPTEMBER 26th, 2011:
TALKED TO MY BROTHER TODAY. HE SOUNDED GOOD & MATT'S BIRTHDAY WENT VERY WELL. MATT EVEN GOT THE WEEKEND OFF WHICH IS HIGHLY UNUSUAL FOR A GUY WHO WORKS MORE THAN ONE JOB. LAURA IS BACK FROM HER TRIP TO MISSOURI & BACK TO WORK FOR THE SECOND DAY AFTER RECOVERY FROM HER ILLNESS. SHE HASN'T HEARD BACK IF THERE'S A MISSOURI JOB OFFER ON THE TABLE OR NOT. JIM WOULD PREFER NO JOB OFFER & NO MOVING & IS TRYING TO MAKE REPAIRS ON THEIR UPSTAIRS APARTMENT SO THEY CAN GET IT RENTED OUT. IT'S TOUGH LIFTING BIG SECTIONS OF DRYWALL BY YOURSELF. CHRIS & HIS GIRLFRIEND ARE THERE TO HELP FOR A LITTLE WHILE JUST LIKE OUR SON DAVID WAS OVER THIS MORNING TO TRY & HELP HIS DAD TAR THE ROOF AGAIN TO STOP A LEAK. LAST TIME FIXED THE MAJORITY OF THE LEAK SO IT DOESN'T POUR WATER INTO THE FRONT BEDROOM WHEN WATER IS SPRAYED ON THE ROOF, BUT THERE'S STILL A SMALL ELUSIVE LEAK THAT NEEDS TO BE PINPOINTED & REPAIRED BEFORE THE CEILING DRYWALL CAN BE REPLACED IN THE FRONT BEDROOM (MY CRAFTING & CARDMAKING AREA). IT'S HARD FOR US OVER 50 TYPES TO PATIENTLY WAIT FOR HELP FROM OUR VERY BUSY 20 SOMETHING ADULT KIDS. I'M GLAD THEY ARE WILLING THOUGH. WE ALL HAVE GREAT KIDS.
-FRIDAY SEPTEMBER 23rd, 2011:
WENT TO THE ALLERGY DOC'S OFFICE FOR MY REGULAR WEEKLY ALLERGY SHOT. BOY WAS IT PACKED. I THINK EVERYBODY IN HANFORD COMES ON FRIDAY AFTERNOONS TO MAKE SURE THEY ARE COVERED FOR THE WEEKEND. THEY ARE ALWAYS REALLY NICE TO ME THERE, BUT MORE PEOPLE MEANS A LONGER WAIT TIME BEORE YOU GET YOUR SHOTS (1 IN EACH ARM). YOU ALSO HAVE TO STAY IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR 1/2 HOUR AFTERWARDS TO MAKE SURE YOU DON'T HAVE A BAD REACTION. GOOD THING I ALWAYS BRING A WORD PUZZLE BOOK IN MY PURSE TO WORK ON. IT'S ALMOST BEEN A YEAR SINCE I STARTED ALLERGY SHOTS WHICH HAVE HELPED MY ALLERGIES & BREATHING SOME. THEY LET ME KNOW IT'S TIME TO REORDER THE SPECIFIC ALLERGEN OR COMBINATION OF THINGS I'M HIGHLY ALLERGIC TO SO THE SHOTS CAN DESENSITIZE ME TO THOSE ITEMS. WE'LL HAVE TO COME UP WITH OUR COPAY OF $173 DOLLARS TO PAY OUR 20% OF THE INSURANCE COSTS BEFORE OCTOBER 6th TO CONTINUE TREATMENTS. I'D HATE TO STOP NOW, AFTER A YEAR, AND HAVE TO START ALL OVER AGAIN AT A LATER DATE, BUT THE BANK ACCOUNT IS GETTING KIND OF LOW. WE'LL SEE WHAT HAPPENS. AGAIN, GOD KNOWS WHAT I NEED & ALWAYS PROVIDES IN THE NICK OF TIME. HE'S FAMOUS FOR IT!
WE SAW THE PLASTIC SURGEON FOR THE FIRST TIME TODAY. HE COMES HIGHLY RECOMMENDED BY SEVERAL OTHER DOCTORS I KNOW. HE WILL BE HANDLING THE RECONSTRUCTION PROCESS THAT BEGINS THE DAY OF SURGERY WHEN I HAVE A LUMPECTOMY OR MASTECTOMY, DEPENDING ON THE OUTCOME OF MY MRI. MY BREAST SURGEON, DR HADCOCK, WILL REMOVE WHAT NEEDS TO BE REMOVED & MY PLASTIC SURGEON, DR ASKREN, WILL STEP IN IMMEDIATELY AFTER, TO START THE RECONSTRUCTION OR REBUILDING & EVENING OUT PROCESS. HE SPENT A GREAT DEAL OF TIME WITH US (OVER AN HOUR & A HALF) & EXPLAINED THE MANY DIFFERENT OPTIONS AVAILABLE & GAVE ME A BOOK TO READ BEFORE MY NEXT VISIT. THEY ALSO TOOK 'BEFORE' PICTURES FOR MY FILE, WHICH I HAD BEEN DREADING, BUT IT WAS HANDLED BY A FEMALE MEMBER OF HIS STAFF, DIDN'T TAKE LONG, & WASN'T AS BAD AS I HAD IMAGINED. THE RECONSTRUCTION PROCESS IS A PROCESS. IT REQUIRES A BIT OF TIME AND PROBABLY SEVERAL DIFFERENT SURGERIES TO COMPLETE. WE HAD A GOOD VISIT WITH THE PLASTIC SURGEON, BUT WALKED AWAY MORE CONFUSED THAN BEFORE. THERE WERE SO MANY OPTIONS & IT'S HARD TO DEAL WITH SOMETHING YOU DON'T WANT TO FACE BUT HAVE TO. WITH MASTECTOMY OR REMOVAL OF THE WHOLE BREAST, THERE'S A SMALL CHANCE RADIATION MAY BE SKIPPED IF IT HASN'T SPREAD ANYWHERE ELSE & IS NOT IN YOUR LYMPH NODE SYSTEM. WITH LUMPECTOMY OR REMOVING JUST THE TUMOR AREA & SOME OF THE SURROUNDING TISSUE AROUND IT, IT'S SLIGHTLY LESS INVASIVE, BUT REQUIRES RADIATION TO MAKE SURE THEY HAVE KILLED ALL OF THE CANCER CELLS, IN CASE ANY ARE MISSED IN SURGERY. IT'S FOLLOWED BY RADIATION WHICH REQUIRES DAILY TREATMENT FOR 40+ DAYS AIMED AT A SPECIFIC MARKED SPOT EACH TIME. IT USUALLY BURNS THE SKIN & CHANGES THE TEXTURE OF THE UNDERLYING TISSUE HINDERING RECOVERY & REPAIR. WE LEARNED FROM THE PLASTIC SURGEON THAT THE BOTTOM LINE IS THAT RADIATION MESSES UP ANYTHING THAT HE DOES & THE OUTCOMES ARE USUALLY NOT AS GOOD. THAT KIND OF LEFT ME IN A QUANDRY NOT KNOWING WHAT THEY WILL DO OR WHAT I SHOULD DO. YOU KNOW, SO MANY CHOICES, SO LITTLE TIME.
-THURSDAY SEPTEMBER 15, 2011:
I REMAINED IN A STATE OF TURMOIL, NOT KNOWING WHICH WAY TO TURN OR WHICH SURGERY I WAS GOING TO HAVE, AND KNOWING THE DOCTORS WEREN'T ALL ON THE SAME PAGE & HADN'T DECIDED MY EXACT OPTIONS EITHER. I WENT TO LADIES BIBLE STUDY STILL UNSETTLED & UPSET, AND WONDER OF ALL WONDERS, GOD MINISTERED TO MY HEART. HE MADE ME REALIZE, THAT ALTHOUGH MY FINAL OUTCOME WITH CANCER & SURGERY & RADIATION IS UNKNOWN TO ME, & POSSIBLY UNDECIDED YET BY MY DOCTORS, GOD KNOWS THE OUTCOME. HE KNOWS WHAT I NEED, HE KNOWS WHAT I CAN HANDLE, AND HE LOVES ME & HAS MY BEST INTEREST IN MIND. HE WILL DIRECT THE DECISIONS THAT WILL BE MADE FOR MY CARE WHETHER THAT MEANS FOLLOWING THE NORMAL COURSE OF TREATMENT OR HAVING EXCEPTIONS MADE THAT I SPECIFICALLY NEED. I TRUST HIM & HE LOVES ME. I WILL NOT BE AFRAID & CONFUSED. SOMEONE I TRUST IS IN CONTROL. WHAT A GREAT PLACE TO BE! I'M IN GOD'S HANDS & DON'T HAVE TO BEAR THE WEIGHT OF ALL OF THIS MYSELF. THANKS LORD! I KNOW YOUR SHOULDERS ARE A LOT BIGGER THAN MINE & YOU CAN HANDLE THIS & A LOT MORE.
BESIDES GIVING ME PEACE ABOUT MY UPCOMING TREATMENT, TODAY IS A SPECIAL DAY FOR ANOTHER REASON. IT'S MY GRANDSON CALEB'S 10th BIRTHDAY. I WISH I COULD BE THERE TO GREET HIM IN PERSON & GIVE HIM A BIG OLE HUG. MY DAUGHTER & SON-IN-LAW TOOK THE KIDS INTO TOWN FOR A BIRTHDAY ICE CREAM TREAT & TO CALL GRANDPARENTS TO SAY THANK YOU FOR CARDS & PRESENTS. CALEB WOKE UP FEELING SICK & DIDN'T HAVE THE ENERGY TO DO A LOT. HE WAS ALSO FEELING A LITTLE SAD & DIDN'T WANT A BIRTHDAY PARTY BECAUSE HE WAS MISSING HIS FRIENDS BACK IN CALIFORNIA THAT HE USUALLY CELEBRATED WITH. HE WAS FASCINATED BY THE ROBOT CARD I MADE FOR HIM BECAUSE HE HAS HELPED ME MAKE A LOT OF THINGS WITH MY CRICUT MACHINE WHEN THEY WERE HERE, SO HE UNDERSTANDS HOW MUCH IS INVOLVED IN CHOOSING COLORS, CUTTING & GLUING A LOT OF TINY PIECES TOGETHER, & CREATING AN INDIVIDUALYIZED CARD OR GIFT MORE THAN MOST PEOPLE. MY DAUGHTER STOOD THERE WITH THE CAMERA READY TO CAPTURE HIS REACTION WHEN HE OPENED HIS PRESENTS/CARDS, BUT HE JUST KEPT STARING AT MY CARD FOR THE LONGEST TIME. HE GOT REAL EXCITED WHEN HE FINALLY REALIZED HE COULD NOW AFFORD THE LEGO MIND STORM KIT HE'S BEEN SAVING FOR 2 YEARS FOR WHICH WILL ALLOW HIM TO BUILD & PROGRAM HIS OWN LITTLE ROBOT. DID I MENTION HE IS ONE SMART & TALENTED COOKIE? THEY WENT TO TOYS R US TO GET THE MIND STORM KIT THAT THEY HAD SEEN THERE THE WEEK BEFORE, BUT FOUND IT WAS SOLD OUT. HE WAS A LITTLE DISAPPOINTED BUT KEPT A GOOD ATTITUDE. THEY ENDED UP ORDERING IT ON LINE WHICH SAVED THEM $30 PLUS NO SHIPPING & NO TAX. THAT IS BETTER IN THE LONG RUN ANYWAY. HAPPY BIRTHDAY CALEB. I LOVE YOU!
MONDAY SEPTEMBER 19th, 2011:
WE WENT TO THE ONCOLOGISTS OFFICE TODAY, NOT TO SEE THE ONCOLOGIST FOR A CHANGE, BUT TO SEE A THERAPIST TO WORK ON MY LEFT ARM TO TRY & REPAIR SOME DAMAGE TO MY VEINS FROM THE CHEMO. I HAVE A BROWN STRIPE & TWO INDENTATION LINES FOLLOWING THE COURSE OF A COUPLE OF VEINS UP MY ARM THAT I'M TOLD IS SCAR TISSUE IN THE VEINS. SHE MASSAGED THE AREA IN A SPECIFIC MANNER TO TRY & BREAK UP THE SCAR TISSUE & STRETCH THE VEINS. I'VE HAD THESE INJURIES FOR 2 OR 3 MONTHS, BUT DIDN'T GET REFERRED FOR TREATMENT UNTIL NEAR THE END OF CHEMO. I DIDN'T KNOW ANY OF THE CHEMO SIDE EFFECTS WERE REVERSIBLE. NICE TO KNOW. SHE SHOWED ARTIE A LITTLE BIT OF HOW TO DO THE MASSAGE AT HOME ON A DAILY BASIS & MADE ANOTHER APPOINTMENT TO SEE US IN A COUPLE OF WEEKS.
-TUESDAY SEPTEMBER 20th, 2011:
WELL, TODAY WAS THE INFAMOUS "REPEAT MRI DAY" TO CHECK FOR TUMOR SHRINKAGE SINCE COMPLETING CHEMO. IT WILL PROBABLY DETERMINE HOW THEY WILL APPROACH MY SURGERY IN OCTOBER. THE 1st MRI WAS DONE BACK IN FEBRUARY, BEFORE I STARTED CHEMO & THE NOISE IT MADE WHILE I WAS INSIDE IT THEN WAS BONE JARRING & UNSETTLING. I WASN'T REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO REPEATING THIS. LAST TIME IT SEEMED LIKE THERE WERE 5 GUYS IN THERE WITH ME WITH THEIR JACK HAMMERS GOING FULL BLAST. IT ALSO SEEMED LIKE EACH OF THEM HAD A PET WOODPECKER WITH THEM, PECKING AWAY & MAKING AS MUCH RACKET AS THEY COULD POSSIBLY MAKE. I WAS PLEASANTLY SURPRISED TO FIND THAT THIS TIME WAS NOT AS BAD AS THE FIRST. THE 1st 5 MINUTES SOUNDED LIKE THE EMERGENCY BROADCASTING TONE YOU HEAR ON THE RADIO OR TV TO GET YOUR ATTENTION & WARN YOU OF POTENTIAL DISASTERS. THE SECOND 5 MINUTES SOUNDED LIKE SOMEONE HIT THE SELF DESTRUCT BUTTON IN A TV SHOW AND THE CONSTANT LOUD GONG WAS GOING OFF SO YOU COULD CLEAR OUT OF THE LAB (OR MRI ROOM) FAST BEFORE IT BLEW UP. THE 3rd 5 MINUTES SOUNDED LIKE A HIGH FREQUENCY MARTIAN DEATH RAY WAS AIMED AT EARTH AND WAS WREAKING HAVOC & DESTRUCTION. DID I MENTION THAT I HAVE A GOOD IMAGINATION? THE LAST 5 MINUTES WAS LIKE A COMBINATION OF ALL 3 PREVIOUS SOUNDS AT THE SAME TIME. IT WAS LOUD & IT WAS DEAFENING, BUT THEY TOLD ME THERE WAS ONLY 5 MINUTES LEFT SO I WAS OK WITH THAT. I COULDN'T EAT FOR 4 HOURS OR USE ANY DEODORANT, POWDER, OR CREAMS LIKE BEFORE, BUT I ARMED MYSELF WITH A GOOD PAIR OF EAR PLUGS IN ADDITION TO THE MUSIC HEAD PHONES THEY USUALLY OFFER. BETWEEN THE TWO, IT HELPED DECREASE THE NOISE LEVEL ENOUGH THAT IT WAS MUCH EASIER TO HANDLE. ALSO GOING THROUGH THIS TEST BEFORE & KNOWING WHAT TO EXPECT, & KNOWING I ONLY HAD TO HANDLE IT FOR 20 MINUTES HELPED ME TOO. THEY ASKED ME BOTH TIMES WHAT MUSIC STATION I PREFER, BUT DIDN'T TURN IT TO THAT STATION EITHER TIME. THE 1st TIME IT WAS TURNED TO A WHINEY COUNTRY MUSIC STATION THAT I DON'T LIKE AND WHICH ADDED TO THE IRRITATION FACTOR, AND THIS TIME IT WAS TURNED TO AN OLDIES STATION THAT WASN'T TOO BAD. IT PROBABLY DOESN'T MATTER WHAT STATION THEY ACTUALLY TURN IT TO IN THE LONG RUN AS THE MRI NOISE IS SO LOUD THAT IT DROWNS OUT THE MUSIC ANYWAY. AT LEAST WITH THE ADDITION OF THE EAR PLUGS THIS TIME, IT DIDN'T RATTLE ME AS BADLY AS BEFORE. I GUESS MARTIAN DEATH RAYS ARE NOT AS DISTURBING AS A ROOM FULL OF JACK HAMMERS. I'M VERY THANKFUL FOR LITTLE BLESSINGS. I'LL FIND OUT THE RESULTS ON THE 27th WHEN I SEE THE BREAST SURGEON, DR MARGARET HADCOCK, AS WELL AS, RECEIVING MY SURGERY DATE & TYPE OF SURGERY THEY'VE DECIDED ON. BIG CHANGES AHEAD. GOOD THING I SERVE A BIG GOD! I SAW THE CHIROPRACTOR AFTER THE MRI FOR MY WEEKLY ADJUSTMENT. IT REALLY HELPS. AFTER DISCUSSING WHAT'S BEEN GOING ON WITH THE MRI & PLASTIC SURGEON, HE ASKED ME TO CONSIDER WHAT WAS MORE IMPORTANT TO ME AFTER SURGERY. 1) HOW I LOOKED AT HOME IN THE MIRROR, OR 2) HOW I LOOKED OUT IN PUBLIC. HE SUGGESTED I CONSIDER SKIPPING RECONSTRUCTION & WEAR A CUSTOM MADE PROSTHESIS SEWN INTO MY BRAS & MADE TO MATCH THE OTHER SIDE IF MY PUBLIC APPEARANCE WAS MORE IMPORTANT THAN MY PRIVATE APPEARANCE. MORE OPTIONS TO CONSIDER.
-SUNDAY SEPTEMBER 25th, 2011:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY NEPHEW MATT NORDIN WHO TURNS 27 TODAY. I MADE A CARD BUT DIDN'T GET IT OFF IN THE MAIL YET. OOPS. BETTER LATE THAN NEVER. LOVE YOU MATT.
-MONDAY SEPTEMBER 26th, 2011:
TALKED TO MY BROTHER TODAY. HE SOUNDED GOOD & MATT'S BIRTHDAY WENT VERY WELL. MATT EVEN GOT THE WEEKEND OFF WHICH IS HIGHLY UNUSUAL FOR A GUY WHO WORKS MORE THAN ONE JOB. LAURA IS BACK FROM HER TRIP TO MISSOURI & BACK TO WORK FOR THE SECOND DAY AFTER RECOVERY FROM HER ILLNESS. SHE HASN'T HEARD BACK IF THERE'S A MISSOURI JOB OFFER ON THE TABLE OR NOT. JIM WOULD PREFER NO JOB OFFER & NO MOVING & IS TRYING TO MAKE REPAIRS ON THEIR UPSTAIRS APARTMENT SO THEY CAN GET IT RENTED OUT. IT'S TOUGH LIFTING BIG SECTIONS OF DRYWALL BY YOURSELF. CHRIS & HIS GIRLFRIEND ARE THERE TO HELP FOR A LITTLE WHILE JUST LIKE OUR SON DAVID WAS OVER THIS MORNING TO TRY & HELP HIS DAD TAR THE ROOF AGAIN TO STOP A LEAK. LAST TIME FIXED THE MAJORITY OF THE LEAK SO IT DOESN'T POUR WATER INTO THE FRONT BEDROOM WHEN WATER IS SPRAYED ON THE ROOF, BUT THERE'S STILL A SMALL ELUSIVE LEAK THAT NEEDS TO BE PINPOINTED & REPAIRED BEFORE THE CEILING DRYWALL CAN BE REPLACED IN THE FRONT BEDROOM (MY CRAFTING & CARDMAKING AREA). IT'S HARD FOR US OVER 50 TYPES TO PATIENTLY WAIT FOR HELP FROM OUR VERY BUSY 20 SOMETHING ADULT KIDS. I'M GLAD THEY ARE WILLING THOUGH. WE ALL HAVE GREAT KIDS.
-FRIDAY SEPTEMBER 23rd, 2011:
WENT TO THE ALLERGY DOC'S OFFICE FOR MY REGULAR WEEKLY ALLERGY SHOT. BOY WAS IT PACKED. I THINK EVERYBODY IN HANFORD COMES ON FRIDAY AFTERNOONS TO MAKE SURE THEY ARE COVERED FOR THE WEEKEND. THEY ARE ALWAYS REALLY NICE TO ME THERE, BUT MORE PEOPLE MEANS A LONGER WAIT TIME BEORE YOU GET YOUR SHOTS (1 IN EACH ARM). YOU ALSO HAVE TO STAY IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR 1/2 HOUR AFTERWARDS TO MAKE SURE YOU DON'T HAVE A BAD REACTION. GOOD THING I ALWAYS BRING A WORD PUZZLE BOOK IN MY PURSE TO WORK ON. IT'S ALMOST BEEN A YEAR SINCE I STARTED ALLERGY SHOTS WHICH HAVE HELPED MY ALLERGIES & BREATHING SOME. THEY LET ME KNOW IT'S TIME TO REORDER THE SPECIFIC ALLERGEN OR COMBINATION OF THINGS I'M HIGHLY ALLERGIC TO SO THE SHOTS CAN DESENSITIZE ME TO THOSE ITEMS. WE'LL HAVE TO COME UP WITH OUR COPAY OF $173 DOLLARS TO PAY OUR 20% OF THE INSURANCE COSTS BEFORE OCTOBER 6th TO CONTINUE TREATMENTS. I'D HATE TO STOP NOW, AFTER A YEAR, AND HAVE TO START ALL OVER AGAIN AT A LATER DATE, BUT THE BANK ACCOUNT IS GETTING KIND OF LOW. WE'LL SEE WHAT HAPPENS. AGAIN, GOD KNOWS WHAT I NEED & ALWAYS PROVIDES IN THE NICK OF TIME. HE'S FAMOUS FOR IT!
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
WIG ADVENTURES & CELEBRATIONS
I MUST BE GETTING REALLY USED TO HAVING A LITTLE BIT OF PEACH FUZZ ON MY HEAD & NOT WEARING MY WIG AROUND THE HOUSE MUCH ANYMORE. I'VE HAD A COUPLE OF OOPS INCIDENTS WHERE I EITHER FORGOT TO WEAR IT OUTSIDE OR HAD PROBLEMS WITH IT STAYING ON IN PUBLIC. I REMEMBER LAUGHING, A LONG TIME AGO, WITH MY FRIEND JANIE AS SHE DESCRIBED HER WIG FALLING OFF IN THE MIDDLE OF A STORE. AFTER SHE & HER SON JEFF GOT OVER THE INITIAL SHOCK, AND THE SURPRISE OF A MAN THAT HAPPENED TO BE NEARBY, ALL THEY COULD DO WAS BREAK INTO FITS OF LAUGHTER. THAT'S ONE OF THOSE THINGS WHERE YOU EITHER LAUGH OR CRY ABOUT IT. AND NOW I HAVE A FEW TALES OF MY OWN TO TELL. WIGS TEND TO BE A LITTLE ITCHY & HOT AFTER YOU'VE WORN THEM FOR A WHILE, ESPECIALLY WHEN THE WEATHER IS HOT OUTSIDE. MY WIG IS USUALLY THE FIRST THING TO COME OFF WHEN I GET HOME FROM ANYWHERE FOLLOWED SHORTLY BY MY SHOES. THAT WAY I AM INSTANTLY MORE COMFORTABLE. I HAVE ACCIDENTLY ANSWERED THE FRONT DOORBELL ONCE OR TWICE, WITHOUT THINKING TO THROW SOMETHING ON MY HEAD FIRST. FORTUNATELY FOR ME, THE NEIGHBOR LADY WAS VERY UNDERSTANDING, NOT EASILY DISTURBED, AND KNOWS I'VE BEEN GOING THROUGH CHEMO FOR QUITE A WHILE. A FEW DAYS AGO, I WENT INTO THE BACK YARD TO PUT BIRD SEED INTO THE BIRD FEEDER THAT MY GRANDSON CALEB MADE WHILE THEY WERE HERE. IT USED TO BE LOCATED IN A QUIET CORNER OF THE YARD ON THE TOP RAIL OF THE FENCE & IN THE SHADE OF A SMALL TREE. ARTIE HAD MOVED IT TO A MORE CENTRAL LOCATION SO HE COULD WATCH THE BIRDS BETTER FROM HIS RECLINER, BUT THE BIRDS DIDN'T SEEM TO LIKE THE NEW SPOT. WHEN I WENT OUT TO PUT FOOD IN THE FEEDER, I DECIDED TO MOVE IT BACK TO WHERE IT HAD ORIGINALLY BEEN & MAKE THE BIRDIES A LITTLE HAPPIER. I HAD TO STAND ON TOP OF THE BRICK PLANTER AT THE BACK OF OUR YARD TO REACH IT & THEN STAND ON THE BRICK PLANTER IN THE CORNER OF THE YARD TO PUT IT BACK ON THE FENCE WHERE IT USED TO BE. AFTER I REFILLED IT AND WENT INTO THE HOUSE, I HAD THE SUDDEN REALIZATION THAT I DIDN'T HAVE A WIG OR SCARF ON MY HEAD AND THAT WHILE STANDING ON THE PLANTERS, MY HEAD & SHOULDERS WERE VISIBLE ABOVE THE FENCE, TO SEVERAL OTHER BACK YARDS AROUND US. OOPS! I GUESS THAT'S NOT THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN, AND IT'S PROBABLY NOT A BIG DEAL, BUT IT COULD BE A LITTLE SHOCKING TO SOMEONE WHO WASN'T PREPARED. THEN YESTERDAY IN THE ALLERGY DOCTOR'S OFFICE, I DECIDED TO TAKE OFF MY HEADBAND . I WAS STARTING TO GET A HEADACHE FROM IT PRESSING IN A LITTLE TOO TIGHTLY. IT HAS SOME SMALL TEETH ON THE UNDERSIDE TO HELP KEEP IT IN PLACE. WHEN I REACHED UP TO PULL THE HEADBAND OFF, THE TEETH HELD ONTO THE HAIR & YANKED MY WIG MOST OF THE WAY OFF MY HEAD. THE MAN SITTING NEXT TO ME PRETENDED TO STARE STRAIGHT AHEAD AT THE TV IN THE WAITING ROOM, BUT I'M PRETTY SURE HE SAW. I WAS A LITTLE EMBARASSED AND AS QUICKLY & QUIETLY AS I COULD, PULLED IT BACK DOWN & TRIED TO ADJUST IT, ALL THE WHILE TRYING TO LOOK NONCHALANT. BUT WHAT CAN I SAY? IT WAS THE FIRST TIME FOR MY WIG TO COME OFF IN A REALLY PUBLIC PLACE, BUT I'M SURE IT WON'T BE THE LAST TIME. THERE ARE ALWAYS NEW CANCER ADVENTURES WAITING AROUND THE CORNER. I SAW MY FAMILY DOCTOR LAST FRIDAY FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE I FOUND THE LUMP & HE ORDERED THE MAMMOGRAM, ETC. THAT STARTED THIS ADVENTURE. HE WANTED TO SEE WHAT MY HEAD LOOKED LIKE WITHOUT THE WIG SO I PULLED IT OFF & SHOWED HIM, BUT I DIDN'T MIND. THAT'S DIFFERENT THAN IT ACCIDENTLY FALLING OFF. MY HAIR IS NOW ABOUT A QUARTER OF AN INCH LONG AROUND THE FRONT, SIDES, & THE BACK, BUT REMAINS MOSTLY BALD IN THE MIDDLE OR CENTER BACK. FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE ROBIN HOOD FANS, I HAVE THE FRIAR TUCK LOOK. I'M SURE THE MIDDLE WILL FILL IN TOO EVENTUALLY. IT JUST TAKES TIME.
MY FRIENDS SIA & MARIA CAME BY TODAY TO SEE ME. BOTH ARE NURSES AT CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL, WHERE I USED TO WORK. THEY BOTH HAVE WORK & CHURCH & BUSY FAMILY SCHEDULES TO JUGGLE AND I APPRECIATE SO MUCH THE TIME & EFFORT THEY WENT TO ON MY BEHALF. WE HAD A GREAT TIME CATCHING UP. MARIA BROUGHT US A JAR OF PEACHES SHE HAD CANNED. THEY TOOK ME OUT TO BRUNCH AT BLACK BEAR DINER TO CELEBRATE THE END OF CHEMO. THEY WOULDN'T LET ME PAY FOR ANYTHING, AND ON TOP OF IT ALL SNEAKILY BOUGHT ME A CUTE MUG THAT SAYS "BEARLY AWAKE" WHICH IS A GOOD DESCRIPTION OF ME IN THE MORNINGS. I'M NOT A MORNING PERSON, I'M A NIGHT OWL. I ALSO GOT TO EAT A TASTY STRAWBERRY WAFFLE WHICH I HAVE BEEN CRAVING FOR SOME REASON FOR QUITE A WHILE. I REALLY ENJOYED MYSELF. THEY BROUGHT ME HOME & CAME IN FOR A FEW MINUTES. WE VISITED SOME MORE & I GOT TO SHOW THEM THE INNER WORKINGS OF WIGS & WHAT MY HEAD LOOKS LIKE WITHOUT IT. THEY SAID I LOOKED VERY PROFESSIONAL & BUSINESS-LIKE WITH MY NEW SUPER SHORT HAIRDO. IT WASN'T ALL THAT HARD TO TAKE MY WIG OFF THIS TIME, SO I GUESS IT GETS EASIER WITH PRACTICE.
I CALLED MY BROTHER THIS AFTERNOON TO WISH HIM A HAPPY BIRTHDAY. IT WAS GOOD TALKING WITH HIM, WE'VE DONE QUITE A BIT OF TALKING SINCE I STARTED ON MY CANCER ADVENTURE, BUT HE SOUNDED A LITTLE DOWN TODAY. HIS WIFE IS OUT OF TOWN ON A JOB INTERVIEW AND IF SHE IS OFFERED THIS JOB, IT WOULD MEAN MOVING TO ANOTHER STATE. THEY WOULD END UP ABOUT 3 HOURS DRIVE FROM WHERE MY AUNT & UNCLE LIVE IN SPRINGFIELD, MISSOURI. LAURA HAS COUSINS THERE THAT THEY'VE VISITED A NUMBER OF TIMES, BUT I'M NOT SURE MY BROTHER IS READY TO MOVE THERE. THEY'VE LIVED IN SANTA BARBARA FOREVER. THIS WOULD BE A REALLY BIG CHANGE. PLEASE PRAY THE LORD WILL HELP THEM MAKE THE RIGHT DECISIONS & HAVE PEACE ABOUT WHAT TO DO. I KNOW LAURA NEEDS A RELEASE FROM THE HIGH STRESS OF HER CURRENT JOB WHICH PROBABLY PLAYED A BIG ROLE IN HER RECENT ILLNESS & HOSPITALIZATION. SHE'S DOING MUCH MUCH BETTER NOW, BY THE WAY.
I ALSO GOT TO TALK WITH MY AUNT DARLENE FOR A LITTLE WHILE THIS AFTERNOON. I FOUND OUT MY UNCLE DARREL JUST HAD HERNIA SURGERY YESTERDAY. HE SEEMS TO BE DOING WELL, GOT TO GO HOME THE SAME DAY, AND EVEN TOOK A SHORT WALK DOWN TO THE CORNER & BACK TODAY WITHOUT MUCH IN THE WAY OF PAIN MEDS. HE NORMALLY WALKS ON A DAILY BASIS & ALWAYS HAS FOR AS LONG AS I CAN REMEMBER. HE'S A PRETTY HARDY SOUL FOR 87. I'M VERY IMPRESSED. I GET SO TIRED SO VERY QUICKLY AFTER JUST A LITTLE BIT OF EFFORT. I GUESS I'LL HAVE TO WORK UP TO IT SLOWLY. ONE STEP AT A TIME.
MY FRIENDS SIA & MARIA CAME BY TODAY TO SEE ME. BOTH ARE NURSES AT CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL, WHERE I USED TO WORK. THEY BOTH HAVE WORK & CHURCH & BUSY FAMILY SCHEDULES TO JUGGLE AND I APPRECIATE SO MUCH THE TIME & EFFORT THEY WENT TO ON MY BEHALF. WE HAD A GREAT TIME CATCHING UP. MARIA BROUGHT US A JAR OF PEACHES SHE HAD CANNED. THEY TOOK ME OUT TO BRUNCH AT BLACK BEAR DINER TO CELEBRATE THE END OF CHEMO. THEY WOULDN'T LET ME PAY FOR ANYTHING, AND ON TOP OF IT ALL SNEAKILY BOUGHT ME A CUTE MUG THAT SAYS "BEARLY AWAKE" WHICH IS A GOOD DESCRIPTION OF ME IN THE MORNINGS. I'M NOT A MORNING PERSON, I'M A NIGHT OWL. I ALSO GOT TO EAT A TASTY STRAWBERRY WAFFLE WHICH I HAVE BEEN CRAVING FOR SOME REASON FOR QUITE A WHILE. I REALLY ENJOYED MYSELF. THEY BROUGHT ME HOME & CAME IN FOR A FEW MINUTES. WE VISITED SOME MORE & I GOT TO SHOW THEM THE INNER WORKINGS OF WIGS & WHAT MY HEAD LOOKS LIKE WITHOUT IT. THEY SAID I LOOKED VERY PROFESSIONAL & BUSINESS-LIKE WITH MY NEW SUPER SHORT HAIRDO. IT WASN'T ALL THAT HARD TO TAKE MY WIG OFF THIS TIME, SO I GUESS IT GETS EASIER WITH PRACTICE.
I CALLED MY BROTHER THIS AFTERNOON TO WISH HIM A HAPPY BIRTHDAY. IT WAS GOOD TALKING WITH HIM, WE'VE DONE QUITE A BIT OF TALKING SINCE I STARTED ON MY CANCER ADVENTURE, BUT HE SOUNDED A LITTLE DOWN TODAY. HIS WIFE IS OUT OF TOWN ON A JOB INTERVIEW AND IF SHE IS OFFERED THIS JOB, IT WOULD MEAN MOVING TO ANOTHER STATE. THEY WOULD END UP ABOUT 3 HOURS DRIVE FROM WHERE MY AUNT & UNCLE LIVE IN SPRINGFIELD, MISSOURI. LAURA HAS COUSINS THERE THAT THEY'VE VISITED A NUMBER OF TIMES, BUT I'M NOT SURE MY BROTHER IS READY TO MOVE THERE. THEY'VE LIVED IN SANTA BARBARA FOREVER. THIS WOULD BE A REALLY BIG CHANGE. PLEASE PRAY THE LORD WILL HELP THEM MAKE THE RIGHT DECISIONS & HAVE PEACE ABOUT WHAT TO DO. I KNOW LAURA NEEDS A RELEASE FROM THE HIGH STRESS OF HER CURRENT JOB WHICH PROBABLY PLAYED A BIG ROLE IN HER RECENT ILLNESS & HOSPITALIZATION. SHE'S DOING MUCH MUCH BETTER NOW, BY THE WAY.
I ALSO GOT TO TALK WITH MY AUNT DARLENE FOR A LITTLE WHILE THIS AFTERNOON. I FOUND OUT MY UNCLE DARREL JUST HAD HERNIA SURGERY YESTERDAY. HE SEEMS TO BE DOING WELL, GOT TO GO HOME THE SAME DAY, AND EVEN TOOK A SHORT WALK DOWN TO THE CORNER & BACK TODAY WITHOUT MUCH IN THE WAY OF PAIN MEDS. HE NORMALLY WALKS ON A DAILY BASIS & ALWAYS HAS FOR AS LONG AS I CAN REMEMBER. HE'S A PRETTY HARDY SOUL FOR 87. I'M VERY IMPRESSED. I GET SO TIRED SO VERY QUICKLY AFTER JUST A LITTLE BIT OF EFFORT. I GUESS I'LL HAVE TO WORK UP TO IT SLOWLY. ONE STEP AT A TIME.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
PART ONE IS OVER & OTHER GOOD NEWS
THURSDAY SEPTEMBER 1st, 2011: CHEMO # 15
STILL HAVING A FEW NEW SIDE EFFECTS APPEAR IN THE LAST WEEK. ONE TOENAIL POPPED OFF ON MY LEFT BIG TOE & THE RIGHT ONE IS THREATENING TO COME OFF. GRETCHEN HAD THAT HAPPEN TO HER, SO I WASN'T TOTALLY SURPRISED. THE OTHER TOES LOOK OK. MAYBE THE BIG ONES WERE THE ONLY ONES AFFECTED BECAUSE I HAD SURGERY ON BOTH OF THEM A LONG TIME AGO. I DON'T KNOW IF THAT HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH IT OR NOT. CHEMO DID CAUSE A LOT OF OLD CUTS & SORES TO REAPPEAR IN THE BEGINNING. IT JUST TOOK A LITTLE LONGER FOR MY TOES. MY FINGERNAILS NO LONGER HAVE BIG HORIZONTAL LINES THROUGH THEM, BUT THEY ARE PEELING SOMETHING AWFUL. MINOR DETAILS, I GUESS. I HAD CHEMO # 15 TODAY. I CAN FINALLY SEE THE END IN SIGHT. I HAD ARTIE BRING OUR CAMERA TO TAKE SOME PICTURES FOR MY SCRAPBOOK. THE NURSES HERE ARE AWSOME.
WEDNESDAY SEPTEMBER 7th, 2011: CHEMO #16
HOORAY! IT'S TAKEN 6 MONTHS, BUT I FINALLY COMPLETED MY LAST CHEMO TREATMENT TODAY. I OFTEN FELT LIKE IT WOULD NEVER END, BUT IT FINALLY DID. (MARCH 10th TO SEPTEMBER 7th.) I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT, BUT AGAIN: HIP HIP HOORAY! NOW ON TO MORE DOCTOR APPOINTMENTS WITH THE SURGEONS, A FOLLOW UP MRI TO CHECK TUMOR SHRINKAGE, & SURGERY SOMETIME IN OCTOBER. I'VE BEEN TRYING TO WRAP MY HEAD AROUND THE THOUGHT OF COMPLETE LEFT MASTECTOMY. IT'S NOT A FUN CONCEPT, BUT I'VE ASKED THE LORD TO HELP ME DEAL WITH THIS ONE TOO. GOD HAS MADE IT CLEAR THAT HE WILL WALK ME THROUGH THIS AND THAT HE WILL RESTORE ALL THAT WAS LOST (JEREMIAH 32:44). I BELIEVE HIM. BETWEEN GOD, A VERY SUPPORTIVE FAMILY BOTH NEAR & FAR, AND SOME WONDERFUL LADIES AT CHURCH WHO I'LL GET TO SEE TOMORROW. I'M SO GLAD I DON'T HAVE TO FACE THIS ALONE. IT WOULD BE SO MUCH HARDER OR MAYBE EVEN IMPOSSIBLE WITHOUT SUPPORT. I'M JUST REQUIRED TO TAKE ONE STEP AT A TIME. AND THEN TO TOP IT ALL OFF,
I WAS TOTALLY SURPRISED TODAY WHEN THE ONCOLOGIST STATED THERE WAS A SMALL POSSIBILITY THAT THEY COULD MODIFY THE MASTECTOMY & DO A LUMPECTOMY INSTEAD, REMOVING ONLY THE AREA WHERE THE TUMOR HAD BEEN. HE TOLD ME THIS WOULD DEPEND ON THE MRI RESULTS & NOT TO GET MY HOPES UP, BUT I COULDN'T BELIEVE WHAT I WAS HEARING. I HAD JUST BEEN THINKING & PRAYING ABOUT THIS & HAD HAD TROUBLE SLEEPING LAST NIGHT BECAUSE OF IT. THEN SOMETHING ASTOUNDING HAPPENS AND IT SURPRISES ME. SILLY OLD ME. YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN WHEN GOD IS INVOLVED. SERVING HIM IS NEVER DULL. THE ONCOLOGIST CALLED MY SURGEON RIGHT AWAY TO DISCUS EVERYTHING WITH HER, BUT PRIOR TO THIS HE HAS ALWAYS BEEN VERY ADAMENT THAT I NEEDED A FULL MASTECTOMY & FULL COURSE OF RADIATION. HE'S REALLY STARTING TO CHANGE HIS TUNE. HE AND THE NURSE PRACTICIONER HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO FEEL THE TUMOR FOR SEVERAL OF THE LAST VISITS SO THE CHEMO HAS DONE WHAT IT WAS SUPPOSED TO DO, IN SPITE OF THE MANY SIDE EFFECTS. I KNOW MYSELF & AM STILL ABLE TO FEEL A VERY SMALL FLAT AREA THERE. ARTIE SUGGESTED IT MIGHT JUST BE SCAR TISSUE AND WHEN THE DOCTOR CAME IN, HE STATED THE SAME THING. THE MRI WILL TELL FOR SURE. I AM GREATLY ENCOURAGED. ANOTHER INTERESTING DEVELOPMENT HAPPENED TODAY IN THE INFUSION ROOM. WHEN I POINTED OUT THE 2 LARGE VEINS IN MY LEFT ARM THAT HAVE BEEN DAMAGED BY CHEMO (PAIN, PALE BROWN STRIPES AND INDENTATIONS FOLLOWING THE COURSE OF THE VEINS UP MY ARM) THE NURSE WHO STARTED MY IV DIDN'T JUST AVOID THOSE PARTICULAR VEINS. SHE PUT ME IN TOUCH WITH THE ONCOLOGISTS MASSAGE THERAPIST WHO CAN HELP REPAIR THE VEINS THROUGH MASSAGE & INCREASED CIRCULATION. I DIDN'T KNOW THAT SERVICE WAS AVAILABLE OR WOULD HELP THIS PARTICULAR SIDE EFFECT. INTERESTING DAY.
STILL HAVING A FEW NEW SIDE EFFECTS APPEAR IN THE LAST WEEK. ONE TOENAIL POPPED OFF ON MY LEFT BIG TOE & THE RIGHT ONE IS THREATENING TO COME OFF. GRETCHEN HAD THAT HAPPEN TO HER, SO I WASN'T TOTALLY SURPRISED. THE OTHER TOES LOOK OK. MAYBE THE BIG ONES WERE THE ONLY ONES AFFECTED BECAUSE I HAD SURGERY ON BOTH OF THEM A LONG TIME AGO. I DON'T KNOW IF THAT HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH IT OR NOT. CHEMO DID CAUSE A LOT OF OLD CUTS & SORES TO REAPPEAR IN THE BEGINNING. IT JUST TOOK A LITTLE LONGER FOR MY TOES. MY FINGERNAILS NO LONGER HAVE BIG HORIZONTAL LINES THROUGH THEM, BUT THEY ARE PEELING SOMETHING AWFUL. MINOR DETAILS, I GUESS. I HAD CHEMO # 15 TODAY. I CAN FINALLY SEE THE END IN SIGHT. I HAD ARTIE BRING OUR CAMERA TO TAKE SOME PICTURES FOR MY SCRAPBOOK. THE NURSES HERE ARE AWSOME.
WEDNESDAY SEPTEMBER 7th, 2011: CHEMO #16
HOORAY! IT'S TAKEN 6 MONTHS, BUT I FINALLY COMPLETED MY LAST CHEMO TREATMENT TODAY. I OFTEN FELT LIKE IT WOULD NEVER END, BUT IT FINALLY DID. (MARCH 10th TO SEPTEMBER 7th.) I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT, BUT AGAIN: HIP HIP HOORAY! NOW ON TO MORE DOCTOR APPOINTMENTS WITH THE SURGEONS, A FOLLOW UP MRI TO CHECK TUMOR SHRINKAGE, & SURGERY SOMETIME IN OCTOBER. I'VE BEEN TRYING TO WRAP MY HEAD AROUND THE THOUGHT OF COMPLETE LEFT MASTECTOMY. IT'S NOT A FUN CONCEPT, BUT I'VE ASKED THE LORD TO HELP ME DEAL WITH THIS ONE TOO. GOD HAS MADE IT CLEAR THAT HE WILL WALK ME THROUGH THIS AND THAT HE WILL RESTORE ALL THAT WAS LOST (JEREMIAH 32:44). I BELIEVE HIM. BETWEEN GOD, A VERY SUPPORTIVE FAMILY BOTH NEAR & FAR, AND SOME WONDERFUL LADIES AT CHURCH WHO I'LL GET TO SEE TOMORROW. I'M SO GLAD I DON'T HAVE TO FACE THIS ALONE. IT WOULD BE SO MUCH HARDER OR MAYBE EVEN IMPOSSIBLE WITHOUT SUPPORT. I'M JUST REQUIRED TO TAKE ONE STEP AT A TIME. AND THEN TO TOP IT ALL OFF,
I WAS TOTALLY SURPRISED TODAY WHEN THE ONCOLOGIST STATED THERE WAS A SMALL POSSIBILITY THAT THEY COULD MODIFY THE MASTECTOMY & DO A LUMPECTOMY INSTEAD, REMOVING ONLY THE AREA WHERE THE TUMOR HAD BEEN. HE TOLD ME THIS WOULD DEPEND ON THE MRI RESULTS & NOT TO GET MY HOPES UP, BUT I COULDN'T BELIEVE WHAT I WAS HEARING. I HAD JUST BEEN THINKING & PRAYING ABOUT THIS & HAD HAD TROUBLE SLEEPING LAST NIGHT BECAUSE OF IT. THEN SOMETHING ASTOUNDING HAPPENS AND IT SURPRISES ME. SILLY OLD ME. YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN WHEN GOD IS INVOLVED. SERVING HIM IS NEVER DULL. THE ONCOLOGIST CALLED MY SURGEON RIGHT AWAY TO DISCUS EVERYTHING WITH HER, BUT PRIOR TO THIS HE HAS ALWAYS BEEN VERY ADAMENT THAT I NEEDED A FULL MASTECTOMY & FULL COURSE OF RADIATION. HE'S REALLY STARTING TO CHANGE HIS TUNE. HE AND THE NURSE PRACTICIONER HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO FEEL THE TUMOR FOR SEVERAL OF THE LAST VISITS SO THE CHEMO HAS DONE WHAT IT WAS SUPPOSED TO DO, IN SPITE OF THE MANY SIDE EFFECTS. I KNOW MYSELF & AM STILL ABLE TO FEEL A VERY SMALL FLAT AREA THERE. ARTIE SUGGESTED IT MIGHT JUST BE SCAR TISSUE AND WHEN THE DOCTOR CAME IN, HE STATED THE SAME THING. THE MRI WILL TELL FOR SURE. I AM GREATLY ENCOURAGED. ANOTHER INTERESTING DEVELOPMENT HAPPENED TODAY IN THE INFUSION ROOM. WHEN I POINTED OUT THE 2 LARGE VEINS IN MY LEFT ARM THAT HAVE BEEN DAMAGED BY CHEMO (PAIN, PALE BROWN STRIPES AND INDENTATIONS FOLLOWING THE COURSE OF THE VEINS UP MY ARM) THE NURSE WHO STARTED MY IV DIDN'T JUST AVOID THOSE PARTICULAR VEINS. SHE PUT ME IN TOUCH WITH THE ONCOLOGISTS MASSAGE THERAPIST WHO CAN HELP REPAIR THE VEINS THROUGH MASSAGE & INCREASED CIRCULATION. I DIDN'T KNOW THAT SERVICE WAS AVAILABLE OR WOULD HELP THIS PARTICULAR SIDE EFFECT. INTERESTING DAY.
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